i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Quick, to the slutcave!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
