You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
