so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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