Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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