i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
