super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
