He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
