lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
