How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
vagina is talking i cant
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
