didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You smell like stripper and shame
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
