I wish life had little blips of pornography
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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