Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
