hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
