I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
