He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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