its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize