My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
