did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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