I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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