Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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