Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
