everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
