Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
