no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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