If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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