my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
