they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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