If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've blown a few things in my day
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
