yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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