we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
