I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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