I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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