we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
