I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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