Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
