Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
