EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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