I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize