just come out here and I will go home with you...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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