What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
