so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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