you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize