Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
