I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
