He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
