some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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