You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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