Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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