True but thats because hes a fetus.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
