since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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