i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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