I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
