I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize