Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
babies were throwing up all over the place
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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