Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
