His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so let's talk penis.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
