PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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