I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
