Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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