Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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