You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
