So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
