Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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