I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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