the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
