they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
