i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
